Kids
by GoldenGirl
Summary: Emily's relationships with the men in her life, in the days leading up to the wedding. chap 1: Aiden, chap 2: Daniel. chap 3: Jack. chap 4: Nolan. Canon.
1. Aiden

Title: Kids

Part 1 of hopefully a 3-parter. Hope you like!

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Emily told him to go but Aiden couldn't stay away. It's two days before the wedding and he's holed up in one of Nolan's nicer guestrooms. She should be with Daniel right now, but she fed him an excuse about last minute wedding details she has to go over with Nolan.

It affords her at least a few hours with Aiden. It's enough.

She lies beside him in his charcoal shirt, in the dark. He's a lot more tired than she is but he's still awake. He'll stay up until she goes, he always does. She places a hand over his scar, feelings of anger and relief all mixed up, rising when she dwells on it too much. He puts his hand on top of hers almost like he knows. Like he can feel her heart quicken against his chest and is trying to calm her.

In the dark like this, with him only barely awake, it's easier to talk. Even after everything, she still sometimes needs that—the dark, the feel of him—to talk about her true feelings. "I don't want to go," she whispers.

"Then stay."

She smiles against his chest. "I mean the Hamptons. When this is all done."

Aiden doesn't say anything and though she can't see his face, she knows it's not because he's finally fallen asleep. "Because of your friends?"

He could've just said _"Because of Nolan?" _and that would've been true, but he included Jack in there too, the only other person in her life who could be considered her friend. She sighs deeply and spreads her arm over him, holding him a little tighter. Sometimes she forgets how well Aiden knows her. When he reminds her, in the smallest ways and most random moments, she feels so thankful for him. So lucky.

She nods and he kisses the top of her head.

"Things'll be different in a few years," he says in his low, rumbling voice, lower now on the brink of sleep. "The dust will settle and the world will forget about Emily Thorne. And you'll be able to make contact with Nolan if you want to. We could call him up whenever we need a babysitter. And he'll fly over to wherever we are and take our kid shopping. Probably bring him home wearing an ascot."

A laugh bubbles up in her throat, unbidden, accompanied by a tear that she catches with her hand before it has the chance to roll down.

"Alright?" Aiden asks. He asks it like the question is much bigger than that. It feels monumental. Emily never allows herself to think about those things, the future. It's too much. Too big, too scary. But when he talks about it her heart feels tight, like it's expanding, and she feels so full of… hope.

"Alright," she says.


	2. Daniel

She wakes up with Daniel at her back; his arm around her middle, his breath on her neck. She is warm and snug and it is the only time Emily Thorne ever feels like she can't breathe.

But for the first time, she thinks the feeling might be mutual.

Right on cue she can sense him rousing beside her, and even as he wakes he begins to pull away. First he takes his arm back, then he turns. She remembers a time when as soon as he woke up Daniel would pull her closer to him, squeeze her, try and say anything to get her to stay. Suddenly there's something that feels a lot like dread in the pit of Emily's stomach. She still has that fear that he could walk away, even after everything she's done to set things in motion.

"Morning," she says. He mumbles it back without bothering to turn and face her, and sits up, hunching over the side of the bed.

"Leaving early again?"

"I got a lot to do at the office today."

"I'm sure no one would mind if the boss came in a little later than usual."

Finally, he turns to look at her, and the best she can get out of him is a weak smile, something he's clearly doing for her benefit. "I can't," Daniel says.

She's used to being the only one in this relationship to fake things. Now with the two of them playing this game everything feels off.

"Is something wrong?"

He gets that patented confused look on his face, the one where his eyebrows scrunch together and his mouth falls open. "What do you mean?"

"Ever since I told you about the pregnancy you've been acting distant."

"No I haven't."

"Yes, you have. We haven't even discussed it since."

"Look, I've been swamped at work, and there's so much to do with the wedding. I'm just a little stressed, that's all."

This isn't working. She makes the quick decision to make her eyes go glassy, maybe have her voice break on the next thing she says. "I can't even tell if you're excited."

That does it. Daniel's face softens a little, and the small smile he gives her is genuine this time. He pulls his legs back into bed and sidles up closer to her. "Of course I'm excited."

His hand finds its way to her belly, and he looks at her sheepishly, like it's a delicate thing and he's asking permission to touch it. She smiles at him, and it's enough of an invitation. His thumb and index finger play with the fabric of her shirt, but then he splays his fingers out and places his full hand over her.

Daniel takes a deep breath. "I know it probably doesn't seem like it but I've thought about this a lot, having kids with you."

This surprises her. "Really?"

"Since the moment I knew I wanted to ask you to marry me. The first time." He chuckles. "What do you want it to be?"

The question throws her for a moment. She considers giving the diplomatic answer; the _so long as it's a healthy baby_… answer, but maybe she's swept up in the moment—maybe she imagines she's having this conversation with someone else, and the circumstances around it aren't fake. "A girl," she says.

Daniel smiles. Grins, even. "That's what I want too. I hope she looks like you."

He kisses her, and Emily knows she's got him.

Sometimes she feels guilty about all of this. But only sometimes.


	3. Jack

If it were up to Emily they would've done away with a rehearsal dinner altogether. But Victoria would never pass up a party, and for her, what is meant to be an intimate dinner with only the wedding party turns into renting out the South Fork Inn dining room for pretty much the entire guest list.

The sun hasn't fully set yet but the dinner is already winding down, and when Emily steps onto the Inn's wraparound porch for a moment to herself, Jack follows her.

Jack is here because Margaux is here. Of course.

"Can we talk?" he says.

Emily looks around, smiles at a few guests stepping outside. "Now's not a good time, Jack."

"I only bothered to come to this thing so that I could talk to you."

These days whenever she looks at him for too long it feels like a game of chicken, like they're waiting to see which one of them will blink first. He always seems to win. "Okay," she says.

She heads to the back corner of the porch, where no one can see them. Jack follows behind.

"I know tomorrow's a big day for you," he says. "Are you sure you want to go through with it?"

She can't believe what she's hearing. He gives her a deadline and now he's trying to talk her out of it? There's a mirthless sort of laughter bubbling up inside her. "Are you serious?"

"Just listen, Emily. Please," Jack says. "I think about the people I've lost and I wonder what it would be like if they were still here. I'm sure you think about your dad like that, too."

She doesn't let her mind go there. Emily already knows that her father would disapprove of what she's doing. But even if she tried to picture an altered reality where her dad never died it wouldn't work. And it's not because it hurts too much to think about him, but because she can't picture _herself_ in those daydreams. She can't make out the kind of woman she'd be if her father were still around. Would she be outgoing? Bubbly? Funny? Quick to laugh and smile and dance? Everything she's not?

If her dad were still alive, what kind of man would she be bring home to meet him? Not someone like Aiden. If her dad never died she never would have met him.

No, she doesn't think of the what ifs. She doesn't want to.

"What are you getting at?"

"Your father wouldn't want you to do this."

"Jack…"

"When we were little I made a promise to protect you. I don't care if were just kids, I meant it."

"We aren't kids anymore, Jack."

"I know that," he says, adding the usual force behind his words. "But there must have been times when you've had second thoughts about all this. When you've just wanted to walk away from your plan and live a normal life. You could still walk away, Emily. It's not too late. If you want to walk away… I'm here."

She catches his gaze. Jack is nothing if not temping. What he says, what he promises, the life that he represents. She wants him in the same way you'd want to hold on to the perfect memory. But it's an impossible desire. She can't live in the past.

She hears footsteps, the unmistakable sound of heels hitting wood, and before she can guess at who's coming, Margaux rounds the corner of the porch.

"There you are, Jack."

Jack's eyes finally break their hold on Emily just as Margaux slides her arm through the crook of his elbow.

They are definitely not kids anymore, and Emily can't live in memories.

* * *

**Thanks to all who read and reviewed! Loved hearing your thoughts. **** I'm thinking of adding a final fourth chapter. Maybe one centered on Nolan? Let me know what you think!**


	4. Nolan

If anyone wanted proof that there were two people living in Nolan's house, all they'd have to do is look in the fridge. Beer bottles next to Pellegrinos, half a baloney sub next to gourmet cashew butter, sausages and crème brulee.

Emily hooks her fingers around a couple of beer bottlenecks and stares down the creamy dessert. She and Aiden worked up an appetite; they can't spend all night in the guestroom without at least having a bite of something. She grabs it, hoping Nolan won't notice its absence.

"Are we having a slumber party? My invite must've been lost in the mail."

"Nolan," she says, turning to face him, but not before surreptitiously returning the crème brulee to its place. Being caught barefoot in someone else's kitchen, wearing nothing but a large white tee that doesn't belong to her, feels almost as embarrassing as being caught completely naked. She tugs down on the shirt so that it at least covers as much of her thighs as possible. "I thought you were…"

"He canceled on me," Nolan says, punctuating it with a sheepish shrug. "No biggie." He sits on one of the island stools and pulls one out for Emily to sit too.

"How'd you swing getting away from Daniel on the night before your wedding?"

She sits beside him. "The groom can't see the bride before the ceremony."

"Ah, superstition. Such a reliable wingman."

"Not as good as you," Emily says. She twists the top off her beer and holds it up to him in a kind of salute. Nolan grabs the other one and takes a sip.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Off her look he explains, "I hear congratulations are in order."

Emily rolls her eyes. "It had to be done."

"A fake pregnancy. That's cold, even for you." A sly smile spreads on his face and Emily can't help but match it. "You know Daniel's going to be heartbroken when it isn't only his darling bride who's lost at sea, but little Baby Grayson, too."

"Daniel wants a baby about as much as he wants to marry me," Emily says. "He's committing to me out of a sense of obligation, which is the best I can hope for these days. And who knows? Maybe when this is all over he'll be relieved."

Nolan puts his beer bottle down, but doesn't let go of it, picking at the corner of the label. "This is going to sound dumb, but I actually kind of wish you _were_ pregnant." He looks at her, shy, even though he never has to be shy with her. "You'd be forced to stay in town, for one. And I've always wanted to be a hip, wise, unbelievably stylish uncle."

Emily smirks. And maybe because this night feels like the end of something, she puts her head on his shoulder. "Nolan, if I ever have kids, you'll be in their lives."

"Really?"

"Really," she says. "Actually, Aiden's the one who brought it up."

Nolan turns his neck to look at her, and even though she can't see his face she sense the look on it, the raised eyebrows. "Aiden Mathis talking about kids? He must have it bad."

Emily laughs and playfully pushes Nolan away, and he laughs too.

"We should do something tonight," Emily says.

"A finaly impromptu mission?"

"No. Something normal. Movie on the couch?"

"I would love to," Nolan says. "But doesn't your Prince Charming await?"

"He can watch with us."

"Something tells me Aiden isn't a big movie buff."

Right on cue, they can hear him coming down the hall. "There you are," he says to Emily, planting his palms on either side of the kitchen island. "Thought you'd gotten lost."

"Emily suggested we watch a movie together." Even before Nolan finishes saying it he can see the beginnings of a grimace on Aiden's says. "But judging from your reaction—"

"We can watch the latest James Bond," Emily cuts in.

"Shall I make the popcorn?" Aiden says. He strides past them and starts opening the cabinets, looking for pots.

Emily and Nolan share a smile. She's going to miss this.


End file.
